Diagnosis from afar: Psychology Today editor weighs in on IPFW murder

I don't know what all the facts are regarding the murder of Ms. Martinez at the Waterfield housing complex at Indiana Purdue University of Fort Wayne.  I am not going to know and neither are you.

I do know that it is a tragedy for the family and friends of Ms. Martinez and for the IPFW community.

I know, too, that it would be impossible for an editor of Psychology Today, sitting hundreds of miles away, to make a judgment as to the circumstances, motivations and facts so as to offer a "diagnosis" of the psychology surrounding this event.

However, Hara Estroff Marano, an "editor at large" at the magazine Psychology Today, does just that in a post at her blog associated with the magazine.

Ms. Marano wrote, in a post titled "Death by Hovering" that the IPFW murder can be ascribed to "helicopter parenting":

Death by hovering is not how the coroner's report will list it. But the murder of a student at Indiana University-Purdue, the first act of violence in the 40-year history of the Fort Wayne campus, may well be the first documented case of death from helicopter parenting.

According to police reports, 22-year-old Liette Martinez was found stabbed to death in her dorm suite on April 18. The leading suspect, now in police custody, is Tina Loraine Morris, the mother of one of her two roommates. The mother had taken up residence—illegally—in the dorm for two weeks before the slaying. According to court documents, she was unhappy about something Miss Martinez had said to her daughter the night before and "confronted" her.

“I’m afraid this may be the ultimate and tragic result of hovering,” the VP of Student Affairs at another university wrote me, in bringing my attention to the report, which I had already seen, in today’sChronicle of Higher Education

Stories of helicopter parenting are rampant. A father books a hotel room on campus for a month while his son changes majors. A mother protests a student’s grade on a paper; it turns out that she wrote it. Parents and students exchange multiple cell phone calls each day, some initiated by students, at least as many initiated by their parents. Every little flicker of experience is reported. Students don’t get to sit with and manage their own emotions. And parents put themselves on the receiving end of a steady stream of unfiltered, undigested negative experience from their precious child.

[ ... ]

It’s time for parents to back off and, at a minimum, let the kids settle their own roommate hassles.

Oh, in her post, Ms. Marano mentions that she happens to have published a book on the topic of the "helicopter parenting."

MORE: Chronicle of Higher Education news report and comments.

Comments

[Kristina Frazier-Henry]

This is like Web 2.0 or Web 3-D or paradigm shifting or moving cheese, right?!

(Insert roll of eyes here)

[C. Eckert]

I don't think this is a helicopter parenting situation. Having worked in a dorm for a very breif period. I experienced parents wanting to hold over in a dorm and had heard stories of this from others.

I think it is rather common for parent that are in need of a place to stay and think its perfectly OK to stay in a dorm. I think it has nothing to do with helicoptering and more to do with lack of consideration for the roommate, or other people in general.

I hope student will learn from this incident, that parents and friends are not allowed to stay in the dorms for a reason.

[Bob G.]

Helicopter parenting...what a crock!

Maybe that psychologist should try to explainall that to the mother and daughter that stomped a teacher IN her classroom in Atlanta.
'Ya think?

B.G.

[Catherine Bourne]

As a professional who has lived and worked in a Residence Hall for 5 years (not "dorm", and if you do not know why, your credibility is gone), I do believe this is a helicopter parent issue. "According to court documents, she was unhappy about something Miss Martinez had said to her daughter the night before and "confronted" her." Holding up in the suite with her daughter might be simple desperation, but confronting the women on behalf of her daughter is typical helicopter parent behavior. I suggest you read anything from Neil Howe or William Strauss about millennial students and helicopter parents.

Ed. note: I don't have any special information as to where the Fort Wayne Police may have obtained the photograph that accompanied the appeal to locate the woman charged, but given the disheveled appearance of the woman and the nature of the photo, it is not unreasonable to assume that she had had an earlier exposure to arrest.

Is stabbing someone to death "typical helicopter parent behavior"?

[Kristina Frazier-Henry]

As a chick who has a master's degree in College Student Personnel Administration from Indiana University (studied under the best - Don Hossler, George Kuh - any of those names ring a bell for you?) - I know what the hell every single name is for a 12 x 12 hole that college students can be "housed" in.

Also, I assume you acknowledge that entities like The Chronicle of Higher Education, NASPA, and The College Board (just to name a few) are legitimate so perhaps you should write to them (and all of the other higher-education related organizations) regarding their use of "dorm".

http://chronicle.com/cgi2-bin/texis/chronicle/search

http://publications.naspa.org/cgi/query.cgi
http://www.naspa.org/search/search.cfm

http://www.collegeboard.com/student/csearch/campus-life/79.html

Cause gosh - you need to worry about their credibility before you have to worry about mine or anyone elses in Indiana. And feel free to debate me more on credibility at kristinafh@gmail.com

[Kristina Frazier-Henry]

Here's what most likely happened.

The woman was probably homeless or between homes and shacked up for two weeks in her daughter's DORM ROOM and you know the rest.....

[C. Eckert]

Didn't know someone could get so upset over the word Dorm. The only people I ever ran into that used the word residence hall in casual conversation were administrators.

And at the junior college I was a Resident Director of a female dorm, I saw Kistina's last post play out all too often.

[Steve Long]

In other words:

"Parents need to butt out and let us highly educated professionals decide what is best for children."