Guess the columnist, writing about Fort Wayne's ranking as one of the "limpest" cities in America:
What does Men’s Health want from us, anyway?
First its editors make fun of Fort Wayne residents for being stupid (on the basis of college degrees, test scores, presence of universities, etc.), then they ridicule us for not being able to have sex without the help of pharmaceuticals. Frankly, if Fort Wayne is as stupid and overweight (ranked fourth-fattest city by the Centers for Disease Control in 2003) as Men’s Health thinks it is, the editors should be praising us for not further polluting the gene pool.
Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on your point of view – there is plenty of evidence that sex is alive and well in Fort Wayne. This city is a “good place to raise a family,” remember? According to the Fort Wayne-Allen County Board of Health, 6,838 babies were born in Allen County last year – up from 6,729 in 2003. How do you think those babies got here?
That’s right, Men’s Health: I used Fort Wayne, sex and up in the same paragraph.
That's right: Kevin Leininger. He goes on to write about everyone's favorite Fort Wayne club.
In fact, Fort Wayne is so sexy it even has its own swingers’ club – although Club Utopia is so purposefully low-profile, even a magazine devoted to tight abs and tighter lingerie may not know about it. Under a green canopy attached to an old office building in the 3800 block of Pontiac Street is the entrance to a members-only club that bills itself as a “place for open-minded adults to come and enjoy themselves.”
Strictly in the interest of journalism, I went in, walked down the long orange-and-green hall, climbed two flights of stairs and rang the buzzer next to the locked door. The well-dressed, middle-aged man who answered wouldn’t let me in, give his name or answer questions about the club. He wanted to protect his children from ridicule, members from public scrutiny, and the club from moralistic picketing, he explained.
But he assured me that what goes on at Club Utopia isn’t as racy as most people imagine and not really any different that what goes on at a lot of other clubs in town – except Club Utopia has its own 10-room hotel built right in.
The club’s Web site, however, certainly encourages speculation: “Some people like to watch; others like to be watched. There are those looking for a third and others who would like to trade,” it says. But even though the man at the door said the club has nothing to be ashamed of, any member who talks about the club to the press could be liable for up to $1 million in damages, according to the membership agreement.
PREVIOUSLY: Photos from inside Klub Utopia